I could just skip doing these, but then my year/updates for those back home could be judged by my instagram posts, and thats not a true reflection. Plus taking the time to write this (legit had to return to this six times now) really helps to look back on everything thats happened, and think about where the future is headed.
This was my fifth Christmas in the southern hemisphere, and for the first time I didn’t feel sad. Obviously I miss my family but I guess i’ve learnt to accept it – you always want what you can’t have. Plus I was just relieved to have some time off work (lol). I think exhaustion is an understatement but I’m trying really hard to manage it. (really hard 😅)
So 2021 – for starters, it’s been unpredictable.
My poor parents don’t know whether they’re coming or going given one minute I’m heading home, next minute I’m staying, next minute the visa hasn’t arrived and I have two weeks until my visa expires and I’m in the country illegally 😅
Which might I add is a terrifying situation.
In true me-style though I packed trips away into every weekend for a solid 6 weeks straight so that I made the most of my time and didn’t waste a second. Heading up to the Bay of Islands again was amazing, I’d forgotten how beautiful it was up there and how different it is to the South Island.
After numerous trips, insane levels of contrasting emotions, pure exhaustion and a few meltdowns, I finally got my essential skills visa through. (Fyi, it is not easy to get a visa).
Knowing you have the stability of 3 years is quite an odd feeling to grasp when you’ve been living on each month as it comes for the past year or so. Fast forward a couple of months and I take on an awesome opportunity at work – a role thats on the long term skills shortage list 😲 (which is HUGE because it’s a gateway to residency). 🤯
Knowing that i’ve earnt this off my own back, through hard work and determination, is such a great sense of achievement and I’m proud of where I’m at. It has come at a bit of a price though – I’m completely burnt out and realised I’d reached my limit after my short trip to Queenstown when I was ill for a solid month or so afterwards.
I’ve discovered this year that my homesickness comes out the most when I’m tired. Which leads onto my next topic – covid. In NZ we had this weird 9 months or so where it no longer affected us, the borders were shut but life was back to normal. In fact a lot of us forgot it was even a thing. However you can’t hide yourselves away forever, and the NZ Tourism industry has really taken a hit, so lately they’ve been pushing the vaccine with the intention of opening the borders. (To everybody by April 2022!) 🤞
One of last year’s new years resolutions was to be more creative, but i’ve found it so hard to find the time to sit down & edit photos & videos, when I spend my working day staring at a computer.
I’m learning to find a balance though. For 20 weeks now (& counting) i’ve kept up yoga every morning before work which has made a big difference to how I feel throughout the day.
I’m steering away from challenging myself with 10km runs etc, and focussing on what feeds my wellbeing. Spending time doing things I love with people that I can rely on. I think the true challenge is pushing your boundaries enough to keep learning, but not at the expense of your health.
One thing i’ve learnt this year is that it doesn’t matter how much you slow down, true relaxation has to come from the mind. I thought that by having a weekend of not paddle boarding/doing activities would make me feel refreshed but I would just end up frustrated because my mind was still busy trying to remember what I needed to do or could do whilst it was quiet.
The yoga helps this a lot. but I also use calm (meditation app) daily. I’m no saint and I still exhaust myself, ending up on a continuous rollercoaster of emotions but I’m really working hard to improve myself. At the end of the day, no one is going to fix it for you 🙂
I’ve also learnt that I’m definitely an extrovert. I enjoy having people around me because thats what I’m used to from growing up in a big family. I’m now trying to work on ways that I can fit in doing my creative hobbies (like writing!) into my routine in small amounts so I dont overwhelm myself with what I want to do. I especially need to do this with my editing otherwise I just end up delaying the mammoth task and then can’t do more photoshoots until I’ve finished those. 🙄
It’s an odd feeling to be essentially ‘settled’. I’m not sure how I feel about it. I’m more used to changing things up every year or so, not knowing whats happening from one year to the next. However, I couldn’t imagine living back in the UK. I selfishly couldn’t imagine living any further than 10 minutes from the beach. Given travel is off the cards for another few years anyway, I’m still stoked to be stuck here. Here is home. ☺️